I enjoyed writing the previous posts in this series. So I'm going to talk about Rimworld some more.
Difficulties at a football match
I do ok these days. I have friends. I seem to communicate fairly well with other people. But I am consumed with the fear of going backwards.
19th April 2017 - I got my suspicions confirmed. I was autistic. So how has this year been different in terms of my mental health?
NOTE: Although I have titled this series “Adult diagnosis feels”, I much prefer the term “identified” to “diagnosed”. This is because “diagnosed” is a medical term and I do not believe autism to be a medical problem. I’ve simply used it in the title because more people understand what it means, but I will use the terms “identified” and “identification” in the main text.
It’s not easy going through life knowing you are different but being told you are just like everyone else (subtext: and they all get along just fine, so why can’t you?).
So after years of believing that they were right, I was just like everyone else and it was purely a character flaw that I couldn’t get my shit together, I was finally told that HOLY SHIT, there is actually a reason why I am the way I am.
At first I felt totally relieved (after…
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And I can guarantee you’ve heard this sentence at least once. Maybe you’ve even said it. If that is the case then PLEASE STOP.
If you’re autistic then you’ve probably tried to explain autism to an allistic person. Even if you didn’t know at the time that you were autistic, you probably tried to explain how much you were struggling to a friend or relative:
“I find social situations so confusing and exhausting.”
“I wish I could understand what was going on in conversations.”
“I hate going shopping, it’s so overwhelming.”
“I just couldn’t cope any more and I lost it.”
“I can’t seem to manage to organise myself.”
“I’m struggling so much with school, there’s too much going on.”
“I need to get out of this situation NOW.”
Only to get this reply:
“Everyone feels that way sometimes.”
Yes, I KNOW it is well meaning. But that doesn’t make…
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Four fun facts: 1) I go to therapy twice a month in a nearby village on Sundays 2) All buses from my town to said nearby village on Sundays have been discontinued 3) A taxi each way doubles the cost of my therapy 4) I may no longer be able to afford therapy...