Disclaimer: Normally I only post twice a week. Any more than that, I feel, is unsustainable in the long term. Unfortunately my buffer is becoming dangerously bloated – so this week you get a third post! Lucky you! 😛
I’ve already posted parts One and Two of this series – this is the third and final part. To be honest, I almost didn’t post this part, it was so anticlimatic, but I’d already promised it in Part Two. Here it is: the final chapter of my opening act! 😛
It turns out that the follow up appointment was to make sure that I, firstly, hadn’t descended into a ball of grief since my diagnosis, and, secondly, had the help I needed. The answers were: no, and, hell no. But the centre that guy works at is quite a distance from me so travelling there regularly is not compatible with a full time job, so they themselves can’t offer me the help I needed.
I summarised the help I’d sought and failed to get since my diagnosis:
- tried to see if the government would help me money-wise if I went part time whilst I searched for a better job closer to home. Nope.
- tried to get autistic-specific therapy. No luck, but had to chase them to find it out.
- am on a waiting list for an assessment phonecall to see which (non-autistic) waiting list I belong on.
Also extremely depressed and intensely suicidal, no big deal.
The guy was very nice but we both agreed that there was a limit that could be done in a one hour one-off session. I got some stuff off my chest (I mostly process and heal by venting) and he gave me the name of a local organisation that *might* be able to help, and recommended a book by Sarah Hendrix to read.
He suggested that I might be able to get the NHS to fund therapy with a private therapist, as I can’t afford it myself, but it’s basically up to me to find that therapist.
As I said, anti-climatic.
He did point out that I seemed to be fairly good at identifying the root of my issues, which I think is a compliment? But, again, we both agreed that I need more a 6 week course of CBT to sort it all out. Not that CBT really works on Autistic brains anyway.
I guess after it all I’m disappointed that I seem to be no closer to actually getting the help I need. I thought the difficult part would be convincing people that something was wrong. I thought that once I finally held up my hands and admitted I was officially Not Coping, that I would get some help.
It’s not as if I need much, anyway. A single weekly therapy session, mostly to vent and talk about how I feel and process said feelings. Hell, a fortnightly session, if money is that tight.
My Journey To A Diagnosis is complete. My Journey To Treatment has just begun…