This is a small collection of stories that, as the title suggests, are Funnier in Hindsight. They’re just examples of the overly straightforward thinking typical of… Well, me, mostly, but also many other autistic/aspergic individuals.
So one time, many years ago, I was visiting my aunt and her two daughters (and my uncle, but he’s not in this story). I cant remember exactly how old the daughters were, but one was in a buggy/pram and one was a little older and tottering about happily on her own.
All that happened was that we were walking along and there was some dog mess on the pavement. My aunt parked the buggy over one lot and asked me not to let the other daughter walk in the rest.
It should be noted that these girls are the only regular experience I have with kids – and even then, regular tends to mean once every other year. I dont really know what level of thinking kids are able to achieve at various ages.
Which explains why all I did was stand still and say “don’t walk there”.
Which the 3/4 year old promptly ignored as she happily tottered across the dog mess.
A few years later, at uni, I decided to make vodka shots for a birthday. Now i sort of got that the “recipe” I had in my head wasn’t quite right, so I was trying to ask people how to make vodka shots.
Frustratingly, all they would say is “just make it like regular jelly, but with vodka”. After about the fifth time of this I gave up and did as they said.
Well, not EXACTLY as they said.
I used some hot water to melt the cubes.
The rest of the liquid used to make the jelly was all vodka. Of the 1L jelly made, maybe 100ml was not vodka.
I don’t… Remember much of that night. 😛
We found an empty box of take out the night after a get together.
My other half goes: “Oh, is that Allen’s Chicken?”
He is, of course, thinking of:
My response? “Well I don’t know who’s chicken it was…”
These are just small examples of tiny moments of humor found in the quirky glitches of my brain. If I don’t stop and think it through carefully (and truthfully, there’s not always time for that) I can be over literal in my thinking sometimes.
It’s important to be able to laugh about it afterwards.